Then what, I ask Stratyner, do the most distressed rich kids fantasize about when it comes to their family money? That they didn't have it?
"Rarely," he answers. "They're not stupid."
Having less?
"No, not really."
So what, then?
He thinks for a long moment, then finally gives an answer. "That they'd made it themselves."
...
It turns out there's research to back up their hand-wringing. Writing in the American Journal of Psychiatry in 1981, George Vaillant, a Harvard psychiatrist who's spent the bulk of his career devoted to the study of adult resilience and coping, argued that childhood capacity for work is one of the best predictors of adult mental health and the capacity to love. He based his conclusion on a famous longitudinal study of 456 young men from inner Boston who, starting in the forties, were followed beginning at age 14. All came from blue-collar and welfare families, and none, at least at the time of their selection, had juvenile records. The subjects were assigned ratings for their ability to work as teenagers—in school, at home, in jobs outside the home, in extracurricular pursuits—and they were reinterviewed at several intervals since, at ages 25, 31, 47. The outcomes were pretty stark. Those who demonstrated the greatest capacity for work as 14-year-olds were five times more likely to be paid well for their work at 47 than those who scored lowest, and sixteen times less likely to have experienced unemployment—and intelligence, Vaillant was careful to note, did little to mediate the latter outcomes. They were also twice as likely to have warm relations with a wide variety of people and almost twice as likely to still be enjoying their first marriages. But perhaps the most striking datum was what Vaillant wryly called a "value-free definition of health": Those who had the poorest ratings were six times as likely, at age 47, to be dead.
But here's a question: How do you drum a work ethic into those who, strictly speaking, don't have to work?
Though if your biggest problem in life is you're not happy that you didn't earn what you've got, you've got very little to complain about, not to mention that this "problem" would be really easy to fix: sell your mansion, fancy car and whatever else you've got and empty out your bank account and give it all away. Give the opportunity you've had to someone else who otherwise wouldn't have it because they didn't have the dumb luck of being born into a family with money.
I find it interesting, but not surprising, that intelligence has little bearing on the subjects' later outcomes, but that their ability to work was a striking indicator of success both both financially and physically.